Divorce Mediation Guidelines
The Mediator should be neutral.

The Mediation participants should be cooperative.

Each party should respect the interests and needs of the other party.

Neither party to a mediation should be pressured by the other party or the Mediator.

Each party should fully disclose all assets, debts and important information concerning the community property.

The mediation process should be efficient and consume less time than a contested divorce.

The mediation should be significantly less expensive than a contested divorce.

Any decisions by the mediation participants should be informed.

The results of the mediation should be fair to both parties.

The agreement resulting from the mediation should be understandable to the participants.

Contact Us For More Information. 

Child Custody is often the most difficult issue in divorce and separation.  Parents who are in pain and/or denial often are unable to put the best interests of their children first -- before their own hurt, anger, and need for retaliation.  The Mediation setting promotes greater understanding between the parents and increases their ability to see beyond their own issues to what is best for their children.  Mediation provides a forum for the parents to air their problems and issues without the involving the children directly. 

Prior to your Mediation session you should become familiar with child custody terminology and guidelines. 

Some reference material is attached for your information.  There is also information on Cal Divorce 123.

Child Custody Terminology.  Joint Custody, Physical Custody,  Timeshare. 

Child Custody Guidelines. 

Debra Crawford Annis Law & Mediation Offices
Historic Osio Rodriguez Adobe
380 Alvarado Street
Suite 202
Monterey, CA 93940
831-372-3900
800-248-2218 toll free

May those whose hell it is
To hate and hurt
Be turned into lovers
Bringing flowers.

Shantideva, Eighth-century Indian Buddhist teacher.

In his book The Five Things We Cannot Change ... and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them, David Richo discusses the concepts of Retribution and Restoration.  He points out that restoration (vs. retaliation) leads to closeness between the wounded and wounding people.  He suggests using dialog instead of running from the conflict.  He states that as adults we should know that losses happen sometimes and that we can survive them.  A spiritually evolved adult, says Richo, "is not satisfied with the glee of retaliation but wants the joy of loving-kindness. ...  The healthy psyche is inherently geared to release compassion when it sees pain and defeat, just as it releases forgiveness when it sees repentance."  He defines repentance as contrition, amends, and a commitment to not repeat the offense. 

Richo lists the following attributes of Retribution and Restoration (pages 37-38):

    The world would be a much better place if we could practice restoration instead of retribution.  This is what mediators attempt to do.